forgetting to remember and remembering to forget

My Soul is the Sky (a lovely blog favorite of mine)

I need to forget you so I can remember me. I mean it's only right because I have to live with me every day and I no longer get to live with you being a part of my life every day. I still have conversations with you in my head. Of course most, if not all of them, are completely one sided. That one side being me. It's funny, because it's now the opposite of how it was when we were together...

I remember you far too often, reliving memories from our past lives together. I also too often have dreams of you. Every time I feel as if I've come a long way on the road to recovery, I'm reminded of the you that was, the us that was, the me that was and I'm back to missing you and hating myself for the things I've done and the pain I've caused you and myself these past few years. Yes, I'm recovering from you. Still. I'm trying to get over you still. Trying to move past you and the past...

They all tell me that I'm better off without you. They also told me that from the start. I didn't listen then so what makes them or my heart think I will even listen now. The truth of the matter is, I miss you. And not in a whenever I'm lonely or sad or terribly blue I miss you out of habit. I miss you when I remember the fun times, the happy times. When people, events, days remind me of you and the things that we did and the conversations we had and the things you said, oh the marvelous and beautiful things you would tell me. Exactly what I always wanted to hear. And that should have been my first clue into the real you...

I need to forget you so I can remember me. You see, there's someone new. Someone who deserves my full attention, thoughts, undying love and beauty. Someone who is slowly beginning to see my true self, my true worth. This person has been waiting patiently for quite some time for me to return. To return to solid ground. It's time I gave me the respect and love I deserve.

It's time I forgot you and remembered me.

It's time I understood what love is truly all about.

It's time I forgot you because deep down I know you've already forgotten me.

And what's the point in loving someone who never truly loved you?